Living With Your Psychic Gifts

Listening to your intuition does not need to be painful.

Get Adobe Flash player

Ouija or NoNo?

“The ouija (/ˈwiːdʒə/ WEE-jə, /-dʒi/ jee), also known as a spirit board or talking board, is a flat board marked with the letters of the alphabet, the numbers 0–9, the words “yes”, “no”, occasionally “hello” and “goodbye”, along with various symbols and graphics. It uses a planchette (small heart-shaped piece of wood or plastic) as a movable indicator to spell out messages during a séance. Participants place their fingers on the planchette, and it is moved about the board to spell out words. “Ouija” is a trademark of Hasbro, but is often used generically to refer to any talking board.” – Wikipedia

Ouija Board Picture Credit:

Oui and Ja are French and German words for “Yes”. The Ouija Board has been controversial ever since its creation in the late 1800’s. The furthest back the planchette and board can be traced back though is approximately 1100. Christians are adamant that it is a thing of evil, occultists are pretty much evenly split. My belief is that the scary stories and hysterical warnings are mainly urban myth mixed in with a little truth, and that for the most part people are talking with their own subconscious rather than spirits or demons. However, there are many people who swear by them, and I have enough spiritual experience to know that spirits are real, and not all of them are helpful.

The problem with Ouija Boards is they are sold as “games” or “décor”, and people treat them as such. But spirits, especially those who do have negative intentions, don’t see it as a game. You wouldn’t throw your house doors open to just anyone to ask their advice, and the metaphysical version can be almost as dangerous. It’s important to be very specific as to the kind of spiritual communication you are inviting. I recommend drawing a circle of white or golden light, then affirming that only love-based beings with the most positive and healing intentions can come within the circle. You may also specify an individual you would like to speak to (but I’d still do the circle and affirmation – spirits can and do lie or pretend to be other beings). It would also help to find a psychic teaching classes on how to use the board safely.

Keep in mind that the vast majority of “Ouija problems” are not dangerous, just disquieting. The major problems are psychological, not metaphysical. Immature people with very little psychic knowledge may encounter a projection of their own shadow and may not be ready for that kind of awareness. Our own fears, amplified by fear-mongering religions and popular media, make these problems out to be far worse than they are. A high threat-defense or anxiety level makes that problem even worse. Is an occasional knocking sound or a cold spot in a room really all that “evil”? Not really. If you find yourself experiencing unusual or unwelcome phenomena, review my “w” page for help.

Recently, someone in one of the resin crafting groups I follow asked if it is morally acceptable to make and sell “Ouija art”, as there are many beautiful molds available. As a resin artist and psychic, I would not. I make no judgement on those who do, provided they ensure that their customers have some basic understanding of psychic protection. I do believe it is perfectly safe to use them as décor and jewelry.

Please feel free to link to this page, and to use/quote this information in any way that feels right.  

What Did I Do To Deserve This Karma?

Buddha, Whee, Karma, Walking, Gold, Thailand, Asia

I do not believe bad things are punishment for what people did in a past life. I believe bad things happen by chance or habit. We are born into a natural universe that is very much chaotic, from the macro-atomic level all the way to the upper realms. “Stuff” happens. We try to make sense of these tragedies, and automatically assume we’re suffering because we are responsible in some way. Small children, when faced with loss, often assume they caused it in some way, and it’s hard to drop this habit, especially when it’s unconscious. But it is worth the effort in terms of healing and peace of mind.

At the heart of the Western distortion of “karma” is a persistent feeling we have that we are here to find our “life purpose”.  I have a t-shirt I made with the slogan “Life is not about finding meaning, it is about creating meaning”. The chaos of life is reflected in all our lives, and as long as we are stuck on finding out “why”, the less time we have for finding ways to turn our tragedies into blessings. Rather than ask “why”, ask yourself how you can find a way to turn your experience into a blessing. What can you learn? Can you be a coach, a healer, an educator, an understanding ear to others who share your suffering? The answers to those questions will be the answer if you are seeking true meaning in your life.

At the same time, part of the reason we reincarnate is to heal trauma from tragedies and mistakes in our previous lives. The healing process can be tough, and in the wounded state, we can react to circumstances in ways that seem to further wound us. We develop habitual response patterns that result in a series of recurring traumas. It is our own habitual reactions we need to heal. The best tools I can recommend to heal our toxic reactions are in the books and seminars by “The Love-Based Leader”, by James Roswell Quinn. We may choose generally challenging lives to test that growth, or we may simply encounter trauma because of the innate chaos of a natural world. I recommend “Journey of Souls” by Dr. Michael Newton. In this epic book, Dr. Newton shares experiences of his “in-between” life regression patients. They share stories of reviewing the next lifetime options they would have. There is no element of “judgment” to the process, only guidance.

Healing when you are on your own

Mourning, Woman, Cry, Destruction, Pain

Many empaths come from dysfunctional families, and the stress levels right now are through the roof. Many are saying that they don’t have someone to talk to. There are many support groups available online, and these can be a great help.

I am blessed with great friends I can rely on for a shoulder, but when I feel my troubles are too dark, I talk with my guides. I bawl on my angels’ shoulders. Then I remember I’ve survived worse, and that my worst fears almost never came true (and one time when that did happen, it turned out to be a huge blessing). I don’t “shut it off”, but I’ve learned to mostly process it on my own. I learned how to quickly figure out who could hear it and who couldn’t. Most can’t.

If people don’t have support and are not sure they are talking to their guides, I suggest they create two imaginary friends, one male, one female. Or have an imaginary conversation with someone whose leadership and wisdom they respect. I picked Princess Leia and Luke Skywalker at first, but I have experimented with a variety of these emotional support avatars, and for me, it’s a helpful and positive exercise.

Go into a meditative state or center yourself, then open up a safe space in your mind. Call in these imaginary friends, share your traumas, and pay attention to their advice. Once you complete the meditation, write down your impressions, thoughts and any advice given. Or just note if it is not given – silence can be an answer too. You may be surprised what insights and wisdom can come up through such meditations.

Pay extra attention to what the opposite sex partner says. If the two guides disagree (and in my experience, this can occur on occasion), your opposite sex avatar is more likely to give advice you wouldn’t have seen as easily. But make no judgements or decisions until you are back in regular consciousness and have had a chance to evaluate the advice given.

Journaling can also be cathartic and helpful if you don’t have someone else to help you process. The best way to journal is the old fashioned way – pen and paper. The act of writing makes a big difference to how deeply your reactions and emotions will process. If you have never tried journaling, start back as far as you can remember, and journal your past challenges as well. Write down everything that comes to mind. Repeat things if you need to. If you are in a dangerous situation, burn the pages after you finish writing, so there is no risk of anyone else reading them.


How does an empath keep a healthy mental balance during a pandemic?

Woman, Face, Bullying, Stress, Shame

It is a particularly trying time for empaths and the hyper-sensitive right now. Our vulnerability to viral contagion is obvious. But we often forget there is psychic contagion as well. It may seem impossible to overcome the input of over 7 billion anxious, frightened minds, but there are ways you can mediate the impact.

Regular “uncording” is the first step to getting external anxiety under control.  Instead of uncording a person, visualize your anxiety as something solid, like a monster or a ball of ugly color, and uncord from that. If you are tuning into other people’s energy, you will feel a difference right away. This isn’t a one-time exercise; I’m doing it whenever I feel anxiety welling up inside me. Sometimes it doesn’t help, and when that happens, I journal and meditate, as I know it’s something I need to process.

Journaling “old-school” is one of the best ways to release anxiety and fears. A pen and paper are all that are required. I personally like to keep a digital copy of my journaling, but I find it more effective to actually write things down. Write down all your thoughts and feelings, no matter how wild they may seem at the time. They are your feelings, they are important, they matter. If you are afraid of anyone finding them, destroy them once you are done.

It is also a good idea to practice regular grounding, and the other psychic exercises available here. In particular, see the “White Light Exercise” and “Love Bombing“. I like the idea of Love Bombing the whole planet right now. These exercises are particularly effective for the highly sensitive, but I have been told by some skeptics that they help from a purely psychological perspective, even though they are not believers. It doesn’t matter whether you really are absorbing other people’s energies, or merely think you are. If it works for you, great, keep doing it. If not, keep trying out different things, eventually you will find something that helps you get back into a positive space again.

I welcome your feedback on the Living With Your Psychic Gifts Facebook page. Let me know if these exercises help, and what else you are doing for your psychic and emotional health.

Give only to those that love you back

Giving hands

“Give only to those that love you back”

I often see this well-meaning advice given in empath and personal-growth circles, and while I recognize that most of us need to set boundaries in our giving, I believe this can be a self-defeating attitude.
I would change that to … Set healthy boundaries, and sensible limits. Give for your own sake, and without need of reciprocity, if you can. Forgive yourself when you can’t. Don’t be afraid to say “no”. Many people are keeping a giving ledger in the back of their heads, and it can be crazy making, not just for them, but for their loved ones as well.

Most of us are really trading, rather than giving. I will do these chores, but only if I get the right kind of approval. I will do you a favor if you will do the same for me some other time. I will love you if you love me first. Then we wonder why, on this planet of wounded souls, that we are let down again and again and again. Once we let go of the need for approval or reciprocity, only then can we know the joy of true giving.

When you are feeling that old resentment, ask yourself: Did I give because I wanted to? Or did I do something I didn’t want to do because I was hoping for a pay-off? If the answer is the latter, then ask: Did the person I was “giving” to know there was a quid pro quo in my mind? Often, they don’t know. They “should” know, but they don’t. One of the good boundaries then is to make your expectations clear. Tell them. I will do these chores, but I expect some day you will do the same for me when I am in need. I will love you, as long as I feel loved in return. If your reaction is “I could never say that!” then you know the expectation isn’t entirely fair. If you can’t say it, you don’t have much of a relationship to start with, and you may want to think about walking away.

Ask yourself: Do I really want to do this thing? Is it a reasonable request? Will I feel joyful and enthused by doing this, or will I feel resentful? The answers to these questions will tell you a lot, not only about your relationships, but about your own motivations and expectations.

I still catch myself having that burst of resentment sometimes when I give and it isn’t acknowledged. But I have noticed that I can’t reach that person, but I will always reach someone, if only myself! If I get nothing more than the good feeling that comes from sharing my gifts, I’m ahead, no matter what they make of it. And since I’ve started thinking this way, I have noticed that I notice more people giving to me. Often it’s total strangers who help me out when my loved ones fail me. What goes around does come around, and the more attention I pay to that, the happier I am, and the more energy I have for giving.

Uncording “Things”

Today I was scanning some of the empath discussion groups and someone mentioned a negative feeling they sometimes get from a particular item that came into their possession. Antiques and used items do carry a lot of energies from their travels. Strong emotions can be imprinted into them, as the laser imprints music into a CD. Many antique stores get their items from estate sales, and they can carry extremely heavy energies as these are often due to a death or other difficult circumstances.

Whenever I get something new or used, I do an uncording on it to release any previous energies it may have picked up. Uncording “things” is a lot like uncording people.

If I am uncording crystals, and wherever possible, I will pour salt on the item and leave it in the sun for a time. I shower the item with white light and golden sparkles in my mind, then imagine any cords of connections going back to any previous owner(s), with my blessings, thanks and love. I affirm all previous energies are released and forgiven, and then dedicate the item to its cause or purpose in my life. If I can’t think of something, I simply fill it with an intention of broadcasting peace, love and healing.

Wisdom in a Dream

I need help. I have been told through all my life that I block my gifts and that this is the reason for all of my problems. I sometimes feel like I am going crazy! I pray hard on it and I had a dream that said this last night “He is a fool who has gifts and ignores them for he will never be where he should be in life.” My problem is, I have NO IDEA how to turn them back on! Can you help me?


Dear P,

Wow, that is awesome! That is some of the wisest and deepest advice I have heard come out of a dream. You are so blessed! I love when I have an answer come that clearly in a dream. I would start with an expression of gratitude for your guide, angel or higher self, whomever sent you this amazing gift of love. The Law of Attraction says that gratitude is a huge factor in getting more of what you want, and I want more wisdom like that, don’t you?

The greatness of that gift is also evidence that you haven’t turned off your spiritual gifts altogether. The truth is that nobody ever really does, even those of my readers who most desperately want to. The best we can truly achieve is to stop fearing it, to accept it … or to ignore it. Even when we can do that, it’s like putting a kink in a garden hose … eventually that energy starts leaking out, and sooner or later something will burst into a watery, emotional mess.

I have done the same thing you did. And for a while, I really felt like I had shut it off, but the ironic thing was once I got to that spot, I felt lost without it. After attending LifeResults though, I reconnected with my intuition, and my spiritual and creative gifts have been stronger than ever. The people I normally connect with, I seem connected to in deeper, more intimate ways. Those I did not connect with before, or who were harmful in my psychic space, no longer have much effect on me. The LifeResults  class isn’t aimed at psychics, it is a personal growth seminar, but what I learned there was more helpful to my psychic growth than any of the psychic lessons or mentors I have had. If you can’t get to that class, one of their facilitators James Roswell Quinn has written a book (first edition edited by yours truly), and any of the teachers of “The Secret” and might offer some value (though their classes are pricey). What I know now was that the trouble wasn’t that my psychic gift was out of whack … my attitude was.

Once I discovered I had a choice how I react to things, so many other things fell into place on their own, including my relationship to my psychic abilities. My book is called “Living With Your Psychic Gifts” and not “Turning Off Your Psychic Gifts” for a reason. Really what I have been advising people to do is not to block their gifts entirely, because, as you have learned, that isn’t healthy either, but to bring themselves into balance and acceptance with it. Still, the focus has been on “turning things down”. That’s why I am working on a follow-up book. I finally have a new title, thanks to my friend Chris Cuciurean, called “Listening to Your Intuition”. I hope you will subscribe to the blog or my mailing list, so you will learn of it when it comes out. In the meantime, the key is to start listening. Start paying attention. And ironically, for the most part, not all that different from the advice I give to people who are trying to block their gifts. The two most important are: Meditate daily, and keep a journal of your experiences – especially of your dreams.

Ask a Psychic: Ghosts and Psychic Ability

Ask a Psychic Icon

Lately i’ve had some problems. See i knew i was psychic since i was 7 yrs old. But i had some issues with it because it goes off and on. I’m really proud of having this gift but i have this problem that i will only see bad things coming in my dreams. Also i saw a spirit once. And i believe my house is haunted. Anyways i need help from you to tell me how i can expand my visions and see positive things too. Thank you for time, and please answer me soon,



Dear CR,

I wouldn’t worry about it going on and off like that, that’s common. It happens to all of us. A couple things jumped out at me when I read your post. Did you notice how you don’t say “I”, you say “i”? It’s a way of making yourself small. That is out of harmony or coherence with the pride you take in your psychic gift. Is there a part of you that doesn’t feel you deserve to have “good” visions too? Do you spend a lot of your time worrying or fearful in general? The important thing regardless is to stay positive. When I first had my experiences, they were mostly negative too. I was terrified of them, and my fear drew even more negative experiences my way. Doreen Virtue tells people to ask their angels for help and I think that’s a terrific idea – ask your angels or pray that you be given only those visions that are in your best and highest good, and when you get the odd negative one, don’t dwell on it, just journal it and let it go. Over time you will find the visions change and get a lot more positive.

As for the hauntings, they usually happen when something bad happens in a given place. They are very rarely actual spirits. I call common hauntings “imprints”. It’s not a conscious spirit, it’s the energy of that person, their emotional imprint, but it’s only very rarely a sentient being with awareness. The best thing to do is to meditate every day, to regularly ground yourself, and to keep a regular journal of these kinds of experiences so that you can look back on them with more clarity in the future.

Who is Ed Dames – Doctor Doom (Originally posted Tuesday April 28, 2009) – Some portions updated.

Solar FlareEd Dames is a well known “prognosticator” and teacher of Remote Viewing. I’m not a big fan of “predictions” in general, nor of Dames in particular. I do think he has some useful techniques like his “timing protocol”, and an over-all reasonable record of accuracy, but he unnecessarily exaggerates that accuracy.

Dame’s timing protocols are what he was using to time the “kill shot” event, his prediction of a solar flare disaster. He said a shuttle event would take place first, then within days the kill shot. So when you see “Event A” you will know that “Event B” will follow close behind.

I argued that the protocols were about 80-90% fulfilled a few years ago. It’s just he doesn’t accept them because the earth wasn’t in fact destroyed. Almost everything else he predicted though *did* indeed happen. But if Dames were to admit that 1) he wouldn’t have a nice juicy apocalypse to keep getting back on radio to hype and 2) he would have to admit he was only partly right. I wonder what he’s saying now that the shuttles have been grounded? Haven’t heard much from him since then.

I don’t think it’s so bad to admit you got it 80-90% right. I also don’t see anything helpful in scaring the crap out of people over events you say they cannot change (which Dames does quite often). He’s adamant that he’s always right, something that would trouble me even if 1) he was always right, which he hasn’t been, 2) he wasn’t taking a dime and 3) everything that he said was sunshine and Kumbaya.

If he was truly avoiding the “doom” label he wouldn’t go on the air every six months like clockwork with another horrific prediction then tell people there is no avoiding it, I’m sorry. I don’t buy the victim act he puts on when he’s pressed about that. He has a choice whether or not to keep pushing this time line back.

True, fear motivates people … for good or ill, and overwhelmingly mostly for ill. I don’t know what he’s supposed to be motivating us to do since he’s said the “kill shot” will wipe out 90% of the population and there is nowhere you can go to avoid it. Seems to me he wants to motivate us to buy his CDs. I would have no issue with that if he wasn’t using fear to do it. He’s still hawking CDs and “safezone” maps on his web site(s) as far as I can tell. Though tellingly, some of the prices seem to have dropped considerably.

I’m also concerned about the cult-like following he seems to be amassing. They all seem to get the same results, and Dames claims special status for that. He suggests if they are all getting the same result, they must be connecting to “Source”, and thus this gives them more credibility. They have a track record, no better or worse than any other group of remote viewers. And they see things the other groups do not.

The one common factor is these people train with Dames. It seems obvious to me that teacher influence can account for the homogenized results he’s claiming, especially with regards to the “kill shot”. I have worked in similar groups, and it becomes obvious that the groups are psychically tuning into each other or to the leader of the group. Double-blind isn’t applicable to psychics! (laugh) I remember one “informal” survey I did where no less than a dozen psychics told me I would marry the same guy and they were all adamant he was not gay. Darlin’ he was as gay as it gets. They were tuning into a zeitgeist of their own making. I’m comfortable assuming that’s what’s happening with Dames’ students.

I am not one who believes people must be spiritually pure to be accurate psychically. I have known too many dysfunctional, alcoholic, side-show psychics who could nonetheless blow you away with their accuracy. And like Caroline Myss, I know plenty who don’t “OM”, eat meat and live very secular lives yet have terrific intuition. Nor does having this ability automatically make one spiritual. It’s a normal human talent, like art or music. Some folks are better at it than others, but it’s a gift God offers us all, regardless of our spiritual intent. There are lots of people getting away with abusing it, unfortunately. Of course if you are out of harmony with yourself, that may affect your judgment, but that’s a psychological process, not necessarily a psychic one, imnsho.

Finally – any public figure is fair game for criticism. All I am calling for is for people to do their homework and use their common sense before they follow anyone’s teaching – and I include my own teaching in that statement.

Solar Flare Image By NASA –, Public Domain, Link

More on Curses

I am a Ugandan born minister but ministering in Bungoma-Kenya. My main call in the the ministry is prophetic and I surely deal with curses. Please I want to get more on this.


Hi F,

In my experience with curses, the main mechanism of transfer is fear. Sometimes the person who thinks they are cursed has experienced something negative, fears it will happen again, and starts looking around for a reason why that happened. They may assume they have been cursed when in reality, either their own reactions have brought on their troubles, or sometimes they have simply had some bad luck. Other times, there is someone out to get them, and in many different cultures there are different rituals people can do, but again, the mechanism that is most effective is to simply tell the victim they are cursed (or drop some hints about it that they are sure to catch), and let their own fears take over.

I firmly believe that no one can curse someone who is walking in the Light. If I am firm and confident in my faith, I raise my energy to the point where their negativity simply can’t reach me. We need to convince people that the most effective thing they can do to avoid or change a curse is to be happy, joyful and courageous. It’s possible that through their faith in you or me that people could have their curses lifted for a time. If we do some kind of ritual, this could boost their confidence. If they have faith in our abilities, then maybe the curse can be lifted. But all we are doing is handing over a temporary fix. The next time bad times come along, they will come running to us for relief.

Personally, I feel it is important that people take responsibility for their own happiness, and I choose to empower them by insisting that they can take care of curses on their own. Everything that you can do to empower people to have self-confidence and courage will not only lift their curses, but will bring more joy into their lives and the lives of their loved ones, and I strongly believe that’s what life is all about.

~ Brandi